


I couldn't say it then, but I can now.

by Weeb_Cadence



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Best Friends, Childhood Friends, Childhood Memories, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending, Light Angst, Love, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining, no beta we die like women
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-10
Updated: 2020-09-23
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:47:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,224
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26397373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Weeb_Cadence/pseuds/Weeb_Cadence
Summary: *UPDATES ON THURSDAY'S*Love is a tricky thing. Being in love with your best friend is even trickier. Iwaizumi knows that best.OrThe three times Hajime Iwaizumi didn't tell his best friend Toorū Oikawa that he loved him, and the one time he did.
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru
Comments: 2
Kudos: 27





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This chapter is basically just explaining the depth and extent of Iwaizumi's feelings towards Oikawa so you can better understand why he avoids telling Oikawa for so long. 😅

Hajime Iwaizumi is in love with his best friend. He loves his best friend Toorū Oikawa so much it makes him sick. He tried and tried for years on end to ignore it but to no avail. 

How could he just ignore the way Oikawa's hair moved when he ran in that way he only runs when he's extra excited about something? How could he just ignore the way his eyes sparkled and changed, color in the sunlight as if they were beautiful marbles? How could he just ignore the way Oikawa always sat with his legs crossed unless he was anxious or upset? How could he ignore Toorū Oikawa? 

The answer was he couldn't. 

Not with Oikawa running to him every time something was wrong, or whenever he aced a test, or whenever he wanted someone to tease. Not with Oikawa spending every possible moment with him. 

Despite this no matter how many times he told Oikawa everything he did was annoying or that he was too clingy Iwaizumi wouldn't change a thing.

Not for the world.

He secretly loved that he was the one that Oikawa spent every second possible with. He secretly loved that he was the one Oikawa trusted with his problems. He secretly loved how he was the first one to hear that Oikawa aced his last test. He secretly loved how he was the one that Oikawa always annoyed the crap out of. Not that he ever thought that he would admit it. No matter how many times Iwaizumi wanted to tell Oikawa how much he meant to him. No matter how many times he wanted to tell Oikawa how much he  **loves** him he won't. He won't because saying as much would mean having to risk losing everything he's loved so much all these years. And those stakes we're just too high for Hajime Iwaizumi. 

Even though his stomach did backflips and his heart skipped a beat (as it does in romance manga) every time Oikawa "jokingly" told him how attractive he was or how much he loved him he tried his hardest to keep his mouth shut. 

So, he ignores the urge to say it three times. 

But the fourth he just can't resist.


	2. Sitting Catching Butterflies <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Once again this will update every Thursday until it's completed*
> 
> (The first time Iwaizumi avoided telling Oikawa his feelings for him was also the first time he realized said feelings.)

On a hot day, about a year after Iwaizumi moved in next door to Oikawa and the two became best friends, Iwaizumi walked up to Oikawa's door net and plastic box in hand and rang the doorbell. 

The door opened with a small  _ click _ .

"Iwa-chan you're here already!" Oikawa called out, slipping on his shoes before turning his face back to his house, yelling a short "Mom Iwa-chan's here I'm leaving now!" and running out to greet him with a hug.

"Good morning Iwa-Chan!" Oikawa yelled with his signature bright smile, after pulling back.

"Morning Trashykawa." Iwaizumi said, smiling back.

"Rude Iwa-Chan!" Oikawa pouted.

Iwaizumi had promised Oikawa that they would go butterfly catching in their favorite spot today and then have lunch together as a way to celebrate Oikawa's birthday which had just passed. It wasn't anything special since they would be spending the day playing together anyways but it's the thought that counts.

"Stop pouting and let's go, I brought the net and stuff so we can go to the spot and catch the butterflies today," Iwaizumi told him, watching the way his face lit up again.

Iwaizumi snorted a little.

_ "Jeez, he's so easy to please!"  _ Iwaizumi thought to himself.

"What's so funny Iwa-Chan?" Oikawa asked raising, his eyebrows in Iwaizumi's direction.

"Nothing." Iwaizumi told him and grabbed his arm to pull him towards the entrance to the forest near their neighborhood.

"Ok, ok Iwa-Chan I'm coming slow down!" Oikawa yelled to him while laughing. 

They walked through the forest talking for what seemed like forever before they finally arrived at the small clearing where the butterflies always are.

" Iwa-chan look!" Okinawa yelled pointing towards the group of monarch butterflies fluttering around the clearing.

"I see it." Iwaizumi responded, continuing to walk forward towards the clearing. 

"It's so pretty!" Oikawa mentioned, sighing 

_**(A/N: This is what I imagine the clearing to look like <3)** _

[A picture of the clearing](https://www.google.com/search?q=forest+clearing+with+sunlight&safe=active&client=ms-android-sprint-us-revc&prmd=ivsn&sxsrf=ALeKk025XeOm0cki2zubKPCOherixamTxw:1600373140443&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjMzKzE_vDrAhXskOAKHS2sDfUQ_AUoAXoECAgQAQ&biw=412&bih=756&dpr=2.63#imgrc=SgUEZQ0jmmzYLM)

"Ok, so when you're trying to catch these guys you have to keep the net angled down towards the ground and approach them slowly so they don't get scared and fly away. Then when you're ready to catch one quickly twist it and swing it towards them before twisting it again so it can't get out. Like this." Iwaizumi told him, demonstrating and swiftly catching two butterflies in his net.

"Wow, Iwa-chan!! You're awesome!!" Oikawa remarked.

"Yeah, I am." Iwaizumi responded, folding his arms. "Now you try!"

"Ok," Oikawa replied. Oikawa stalked up to the crowd of butterflies like a predator looking for an opportunity to strike. He walked around in circles around the small creatures for what seemed like hours and Iwaizumi started to get impatient. 

"What are you doing Trashy-kaw-" Iwaizumi started.

"Shhhh, Iwa-chan I'm almost ready!" Oikawa interrupted.

Iwaizumi sighed leaning his back against a nearby rock and basking in the sun watching his best friend get ready to catch a butterfly.

Then seemingly out of nowhere, Oikawa charged forward and caught a butterfly.

"You caught on?!" Iwaizumi asked excitedly.

"Not just any butterfly. This one's different!" Oikawa told him.

"What do you mean?" Iwaizumi questioned, before patting the spot next to him and scooching over slightly.

"Just  _ look _ ." Oikawa rolled his eyes, taking the seat next to his scowling best friend. Oikawa slowly unwrapped the net to reveal a small, pure white butterfly. 

"See, Iwa-chan it's different from all the others!" Oikawa exclaimed. The butterfly started flapping its wings and taking to the air in front of the right in the sunlight.

"Yeah, it is." Iwaizumi replied, exasperated, staring at the pretty sight in front of him. The white butterfly and his best friend sitting in a beautiful spot next to him in a grassy spot with sunlight shining through and making his best friend's eyes shine impossibly brighter like billions of stars bunched together in those beautiful eyes of his.

_ "I love him." _ Iwaizumi thought to himself.

He immediately came to his senses and flushed a deep red upon realizing what he thought what he  _ almost said _ . He clamped a hand over his mouth as if he was scared that if he didn't the words would fall out before he could stop himself.

"What is it Iwa-chan?" Oikawa asked with a worried expression on his face.

"Nothing…." Iwaizumi replied, noticing how he was staring and quickly looking away. "I was just thinking that we should head back from lunch now."

"Oh, yeah! Then after lunch can we head over to the field at the park and play with the new volleyball I got for my birthday? It's better than my uncle's old one we've been using!" Okinawa exclaimed, rising.

"Uh, yeah sure.." Iwaizumi replied standing up and joining his friend. Oikawa ran towards the way they came and Iwaizumi quickly followed. 

_ "What was  _ **_that_ ** _?"  _ Iwaizumi thought to himself while running.

"Hurry, up Iwa-chan you're so slow!" Okinawa yelled to Iwaizumi, turning around, smiling brightly, and continuing to run without looking where he was going.

Iwaizumi smiled back and quickened his pace.

"Yeah, yeah I'm coming!" Iwaizumi yelled back, laughing.

_ "Well, whatever it was I can figure it out later."  _ Iwaizumi thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this!


	3. Middle School Graduation <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I might have a lot of homework tomorrow so i'm posting this a day early just in case I don't have time tomorrow.  
> Also a lot of research about Japanese landmarks, and Oikawa himself went into making this chapter.

It was 5:00 pm on a Friday afternoon, when Oikawa and Iwaizumi stood side by side on the day of their Middle School graduation. They were lined up along with the rest of the Kitagawa First volleyball team. Oikawa was shaking with , what Iwaizumi guessed was, both nerves and excitement. They stood patiently while everyone had their names called on by one to receive their certificate of graduation from middle school (I don’t know if this is an actual thing in Japan but I needed an example). Iwaizumi turned to his brown haired friend and sighed.

“Calm down Shitty-kawa, you look like you’re about to explode!” Iwaizumi whisper yelled to Oikawa, still facing forward so people wouldn’t notice the two talking.  
“Sorry Iwa-chan.” Oikawa said, straightening up.  
“Ok now you look even more nervous. You’ll be fine. If anyone can stay strong under pressure it’s you, you freak of nature.” Iwaizumi told him, trying to calm his best friend and crush down. 

That seemed to be all Oikawa needed to be back to his normal self because his shoulders visibly relaxed after that.

~Time skip to after everyone’s speeches~

“Ok now for the last award of the day we have the winner of the best setter award.” The principal announced and Oikawa tensed up again.  
“Tooru Oikawa!” The principal called out, to no one but Oikawa’s surprise. Oikawa nearly bounced his way onto stage to accept the award with his signature bright smile that never failed to put Iwaizumi into a better mood.

“He’s so cute.” Iwaizumi thought to himself before slapping his cheeks and shaking his head left and right furiously. “No today’s his day. You don’t get to think selfishly. Besides, even if you could, he's your best friend, you have no chance.” He got awoken from his thoughts when the beaming ball of happiness skipped his way.

“Did you see that Iwa-chan?! I got the best setter award!!!” Oikawa yelled, obviously more excited than ever.  
“Yeah I saw, Trashy-kawa, but we all already knew that you were the one who was getting it, there's no doubt you deserve it, you’re the only one who didn’t think so.” Iwaizumi told him matter of factly.  
“Aww Iwa-chan you’re so sweet~” Oikawa gushed squashing Iwaizumi’s cheeks between his palms and smiling big and bright again making Iwaizumi’s heart flutter.

“Yeah, yeah shut up Shitty-kawa i’m just saying what everyone else is thinking.” Iwaizumi told him, pushing Oikawa’s hands off his face. Iwazumi walked over to the dimly lit supply closet where him and Oikawa had put their bags down when they had first arrived in the gym. He picked up his blue bag and swung it over his shoulder. Oikawa was quick to follow him and do the same with his blue backpack, which matched Iwaizumis backpack.   
“Iwa-chan you’re so cute.” Oikawa said, running behind Iwaizumi following him out the doors of the gym and laughing.  
“Whatever.” Iwaizumi huffed, turning back towards his childhood friend, not missing the way his eyes glimmered and sparkled like the stars in Nagano. 

(This is what the stars in Nagano look like because “In Nagano, Japan, there is a village where the stars are said to shine the brightest. In fact, no less than the Japanese Ministry of Environment considers it as “the best place to see stars.” With a population of around 6,500 people, the village of ACHI is known as the darkest place in Japan.”)

https://live.staticflickr.com/4244/34602441850_a97410a190_b.jpg

“I know you love me Iwa-chan, and I love you too~” Oikawa sing-songed running in front of him whilst twirling.  
“Shut up.” Iwaizumi responded, turning away in an attempt to hide the blush that was slowly making its way onto his cheeks.  
“Yes I do love you too, but not in the way you mean it.” Iwaizumi thought to himself frowning slightly.

It was slight but Oikawa being as observant as he is caught it easily.  
“What’s that look for Iwa-chan?” Oikawa asked with worry clearly present in his tone.  
“Nothing Shitty-kawa, just thinking about how smug you’re going to be about winning this award in highschool.” Iwaizumi retorted quickly, glancing towards his friend and rolling his eyes at his friend's pout. It was a quick save but it came naturally to Iwaizumi because he knew Oikawa would believe him, perks of being best friends and paying close attention to his actions for years Iwaizumi guesses.

“Rude Iwa-chan!” Oikawa huffs and falls back into step with Iwaizumi.  
“Mhm, now let's go get some milk bread to commemorate this award of yours.” Iwaizumi tells Oikawa.  
“I thought it wasn’t a surprise?” Oikawa questions.  
“Just because you were the obvious choice to receive the award doesn't mean it wasn’t deserved or that we shouldn’t celebrate a little.” Iwaizumi replied. Oikawa brightened up at that.  
“Thanks Iwa-chan!!!” Oikawa yells, smiling and jumping onto him giving him a quick hug before he pushes him off.  
He turned his head to see Oikawa flashing one of his beautiful, once in a while smiles he only gives when they’re alone and to say Iwaizumi was mesmerised would be an understatement.

“ I love you a lot.” He thinks to himself with all the passion he can muster, because that was the closest he could get to ever actually saying it. 

He and Oikawa walked side by side chattering and teasing back and forth while on the way to the convenience store. They bought Oikawa’s favorite brand of milk bread and sat down outside to eat it.

They spent the rest of the night celebrating in chaos like only they know how. 

And that’s how Oikawa and Iwaizumi ended their last year of middle school with each other, Oikawa’s empty house, some name brand milk bread, and a cheap karaoke machine. That was the only way they knew how, and they were both perfectly happy with the small little bubble of love they share on special nights like these.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for taking the time to read this, I honestly thought no one would. If you want to follow my Wattpad I also post this on there along with another story which is longer, ongoing, and Tsukiyama centric. I plan to post some stories only on this platform, some stories only on Wattpad, and some on both so you can follow that too if you want to read it all. It's obviously not necessary though. You can find me on there by either searching up my user name (it's the same as on here) Or just searching up the name of this story. Until next week! - Weeb_Cadence <3


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